I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
