Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I fill condoms, not promises.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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