The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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