Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
