She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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