Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
