Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
