fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
