hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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