i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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