How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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