I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
