i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
