Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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