If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
