Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
