Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
