K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
