i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
