Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
