is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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