I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
