Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
