And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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