break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
