Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
