I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
