some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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