Got a toothbrush?
i don't like sucking hair
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Congratulations! We have a period
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
