Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
