THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
