Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
