I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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