Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
