Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
