I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
