You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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