I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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