I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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