'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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