lets start a swedish sibling band together
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
