Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
