What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
