His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
