its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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