Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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