Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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