walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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