i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
