I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
