That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
