I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
