I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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