alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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