he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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